


The One With The Drone

by klp9



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: 2020, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Screenplay/Script Format, Season 3, yada_yada_yada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23687995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klp9/pseuds/klp9
Summary: After "The One With a Chick and a Duck" (S03E21) and before "The One With the Screamer" (S03E22).  The actors and characters are all the same ages as they were when season 3 aired in 1997, but this episode is set in 2020.Rachel begins acting mysteriously leading the gang to think she's started dating again.  Ross becomes jealous and buys a drone.
Relationships: Monica Geller/Pete Becker, Ross Geller/Rachel Green
Kudos: 7





	The One With The Drone

FRIENDS  
“The One With The Drone”  
FINAL DRAFT 03/09/20

Rachel.......................................Jennifer Aniston  
Monica.......................................Courteney Cox  
Phoebe.......................................Lisa Kudrow  
Joey.........................................Matt LeBlanc  
Chandler.....................................Matthew Perry  
Ross.........................................David Schwimmer  
Carol........................................Anita Barone  
Susan........................................Jessica Hecht  
Barista......................................John F. Kennedy Jr.

SETS  
INT. COFFEE HOUSE (CENTRAL PERK)  
INT. JOEY AND CHANDLER’S APARTMENT  
INT. STARBUCKS  
INT. MONICA AND RACHEL’S APARTMENT  
INT. CAROL AND SUSAN’S BEDROOM

TEASER  
SCENE A

FADE IN:

INT. COFFEE HOUSE - DAY (DAY 1)  
(Chandler, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Ross)

MONICA, PHOEBE, AND ROSS ARE ON THE COUCH. CHANDLER IS SITTING AT THE TABLE. JOEY ENTERS. HE IS WALKING DICK THE DUCK ON A LEASH. THEY ALL STOP CHATTING AND STARE BETWEEN JOEY AND THE DUCK.

ROSS  
Uhh...(JOEY SITS DOWN IN THE CHAIR) to address the elephant - or duck - in the room...

MONICA  
(CUTTING HIM OFF) Joey, you can’t just bring that thing in here. There’s food - that’s a health code violation.

JOEY  
Actually, I can. And that thing (SOUNDING OFFENDED) is my emotional support duck.

CHANDLER  
(TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE) Isn’t that a lot to ask of a duck?

JOEY  
(GLARING AT CHANDLER) He’s a very good duck!

ROSS  
I’m sure he is, but you have to register him. You can’t just write ESA on him and bring him in here.

DUCK STRAIGHTENS AND FLAPS WINGS REVEALING “ESA” WRITTEN IN BLACK SHARPIE ACROSS ITS CHEST.

JOEY  
(GRUMBLING AND GETTING UP) Fine, I thought your job was dinosaurs, but I guess you know everything about ducks too (TO DUCK) C’mon Dick

AS HE EXITS...  
FADE OUT:  
“I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU”

SCENE B  
INT. COFFEE HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER (DAY 1)  
(Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross)

MONICA  
(TURNS TO PHOEBE) How was your date last night Pheebs?

PHOEBE GROANS AND LOOKS DISGUSTED

CHANDLER  
I tend to think that’s how my dates describe their evening 

PHOEBE  
Well to start he was shorter than me.

ROSS  
Why is that such a thing for women? You’re not happy unless we’re a foot taller than you.

MONICA SCOFFS

MONICA  
I don’t think we’re the ones with a problem

PHOEBE  
Yes, I don’t mind a shorter man, but I do mind shorter men who lie about their height.

CHANDLER  
(SHRUGGING) So he added a few inches on his profile? (EXCHANGES LOOKS WITH ROSS) Who doesn’t?

PHOEBE  
Oh no, he asked me how tall I was and when I told him, he said he was 5’8” so I must be 5’5”.

THE OTHERS LAUGH AND MONICA PUTS HER ARM AROUND PHOEBE

ROSS  
Now that’s a new one

MONICA  
Well don’t swear off all men. There is still hope. After all I found Pete...

PHOEBE  
(SUGGESTIVELY) Oh and Rachel seems to be happy and mysterious lately...

CHANDLER  
Yeah where is Rachel? I haven’t seen her here in awhile.

MONICA SHUSHES THEM AND TIPS HER HEAD TOWARD ROSS. ROSS APPEARS AGITATED AND GETS UP QUICKLY.

MONICA  
(REACHING TOWARD HIM) Ross, here sit down...

ROSS  
(UNCONVINCINGLY) No, no I’m fine. I just have to go do something at my apartment. See you all later.  
HE EXITS. AND WE...  
CUT TO:

SCENE C  
INT. JOEY AND CHANDLER’S APT. - DAYS LATER (DAY 2)  
(Chandler, Joey, Ross)

CHANDLER, JOEY, AND ROSS ARE STANDING AROUND THE COUNTER. ROSS OPENS A LARGE BOX CONTAINING A DRONE, DRONE GOGGLES, AND A RADIO CONTROLLER.

JOEY  
You bought a drone.

CHANDLER  
Oh my God. Please tell me this has nothing to do with Rachel.

ROSS  
(SQUACKS UNCONVINCINGLY) Wha-No, no just for fun 

CHANDLER TILTS HEAD AND STARES INCREDULOUSLY

ROSS  
(FEIGNING THOUGHT) But you know, (LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY) now that you - uh - mention it we could (SHRUGGING) uhhh...you know we could see what she’s been up to

CHANDLER  
Ahh yes nothing says “I’m not a possessive, pathetic dork” like spying on your ex-girlfriend with a drone.

JOEY  
Seriously, Ross, do you listen to yourself?

ROSS  
(SIGHS) Ok I know, I know, but check it out!

HE EXCITEDLY HANDS JOEY THE GOGGLES, PICKS UP THE REMOTE CONTROLLER AND STARTS FLYING THE DRONE AROUND.

JOEY  
(WHILE PUTTING ON GOGGLES) Do you really think we’re just going to let this-whoa-ho! This is sweet!

CHANDLER  
(TO JOEY) You’re encouraging him?!

JOEY CONTINUES TO LOOK THROUGH GOGGLES. HIS MOUTH IS OPEN IN AWE. CHANDLER STARES AT HIM AND THEN GIVES IN

CHANDLER  
Oh what the hell? Let me see!

CHANDLER REACHES TO TAKE THE GOGGLES OFF OF JOEY...  
DISSOLVE TO:

SCENE D  
INT. STARBUCKS - SAME DAY (DAY 2)  
(Rachel)

RACHEL CARRIES HER DRINK OVER TO A TWO-PERSON TABLE AND SITS DOWN. SHE LOOKS NERVOUS.  
RACHEL  
(QUIETLY, TO HERSELF) God, it feels like I’m cheating. (REASSURING HERSELF) It’s fine. You’re allowed to be here.

SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND SMILES. AND WE...  
CUT TO:

SCENE E  
INT. MONICA AND RACHEL’S APT. - THAT NIGHT (NIGHT 2)  
(Chandler, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross)

PHOEBE IS SITTING ON THE COUCH SCROLLING THROUGH NETFLIX. MONICA BRINGS OVER A BOWL OF POPCORN AND SITS DOWN.

PHOEBE  
(DRAMATICALLY) Popcorn on the couch! What madness!

MONICA RELUCTANTLY HANDS THE BOWL OVER TO PHOEBE.

MONICA  
(TRYING TO SOUND BREEZY) Remember, no crumbies!

MONICA LAUGHS TENSELY AND PHOEBE GIVES HER AN EXAGGERATED THUMBS UP. RACHEL ENTERS.

RACHEL  
Hey you guys! (SEES THE SCREEN) Ooooh were you about to watch something? Ugh I would love to just sit and relax. 

RACHEL SHAKES HER SHOULDERS TO LOOSEN UP AND GOES OVER TO SIT ON THE COUCH NEXT TO PHOEBE. MONICA AND PHOEBE EXCHANGE LOOKS.

MONICA  
(TO RACHEL)  
So Rach, tell us about your day.

RACHEL  
Oh, you know just the usual, went to work (WAVES HER HAND) yada, yada, yada...

PHOEBE  
It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you at Central Perk.

RACHEL   
(NERVOUSLY TWIRLING HAIR) Oh..?

MONICA  
Nothing new in your life?

RACHEL LOOKS TAKEN ABACK AND LOOKS NERVOUSLY BETWEEN MONICA AND PHOEBE

PHOEBE  
(MYSTERIOUSLY) A new lover?

RACHEL  
Oh!

RACHEL STARTS TO LAUGH AND MONICA AND PHOEBE LEAN FORWARD EXCITEDLY. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

MONICA  
I’ll get it! (RUNNING TOWARD THE DOOR) Don’t say anything ‘til I get back!

MONICA OPENS THE DOOR TO AN EMPTY HALLWAY. THE GIRLS LOOK AT EACH OTHER PUZZLED. A FAINT BUZZING SOUND CAN BE HEARD AND THE DRONE FLIES OVER MONICA’S HEAD AND INTO THE APARTMENT.

MONICA  
(ROLLS EYES AND SHOUTS INTO THE HALL) Ross! I know it’s you!

JOEY STAGGERS IN STILL WEARING THE GOGGLES. CHANDLER AND ROSS ENTER AFTER JOEY. ROSS IS HOLDING THE REMOTE CONTROL.

ROSS  
(DISAPPOINTED) How’d you know it was me?

MONICA  
Because who else?

CHANDLER GESTURES TO ROSS WITH AN “I TOLD YOU SO” LOOK. ROSS FLIES THE DRONE PAST RACHEL AND PHOEBE.

PHOEBE  
(EXCITEDLY) Oh wow! Monica, you have a UFO in your apartment!

CHANDLER  
Don’t recognize the mothership, Pheebs?

PHOEBE MAKES A FACE AT CHANDLER. ROSS CONTINUES TO FLY THE DRONE AROUND THE ROOM. MONICA LOOKS ON ANXIOUSLY FROM THE KITCHEN. RACHEL GOES OVER TO ROSS AND LOOKS AT THE RADIO CONTROL.

RACHEL  
You’re flying it with just that?

ROSS  
(LOOKING PLEASED) Yup. It’s a radio control. Pretty cool huh?

RACHEL  
And what is Joey wearing?

ROSS  
Those goggles connect to the little camera on the drone, so he sees the view from the drone. 

MONICA  
Ross! Be careful! Shouldn’t you be flying that outside?

ROSS  
It’s fine. I was just flying it at Joey and Chandler’s. (TURNS TO RACHEL) Do you want to try?

RACHEL  
Me?! I wouldn’t know what to do

ROSS  
Here I’ll show you.

ROSS STANDS BEHIND RACHEL AND PUTS HIS ARMS AROUND HER.

ROSS  
Now, put your hands over mine.

RACHEL PLACES HER HANDS ON ROSS’S AND HE GETS DISTRACTED STARING AT HER. THE DRONE FLIES CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE CEILING ABOVE THE COUCH. MONICA CRINGES AND STARES FIXEDLY AT THE DRONE. PHOEBE TAKES A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. CHANDLER JUMPS AND POINTS AT THE DRONE.

CHANDLER  
(WARNING) Ross!

ROSS STARTLES AND TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO THE DRONE, BUT IT IS TOO LATE. THE DRONE HITS THE CEILING ABOVE PHOEBE. HEARING THE SOUND PHOEBE LOOKS UP. THE DRONE DROPS RIGHT IN THE BOWL OF POPCORN PHOEBE IS HOLDING. THE PROPELLER IS STILL GOING AND TINY PIECES OF POPCORN FLY EVERYWHERE. PHOEBE LETS GO OF THE BOWL.

PHOEBE   
(SHOUTING AND POINTING FRANTICALLY) Oh! Oh! Crumbies!!

CHANDLER IS STILL JUMPING AND POINTING. RACHEL PEERS THROUGH HER FINGERS. MONICA LOOKS ON HORRIFIED AS ROSS FUMBLES FOR THE OFF SWITCH. JOEY IS STILL LOOKING THROUGH THE GOGGLES.

JOEY  
Hey check it out I’m flying through a blizzard! (REALIZING) Uh oh.

ROSS FINALLY TURNS OFF THE DRONE. JOEY TAKES OFF THE GOGGLES. EVERYONE VERY SLOWLY TURNS TO FACE MONICA WHO IS STARING OPEN-MOUTHED AT THE POPCORN-COVERED COUCH.

MONICA  
(SLOWLY) I can’t even be mad because that is the dumbest thing I have ever seen.

THE OTHERS LOOK SURPRISED AND RELIEVED. MONICA STARTS LAUGHING AT THEIR FACES AND THE OTHERS JOIN IN.

ROSS  
I’m s-

MONICA  
(CUTTING HIM OFF) But I hope it was worth it because that is the last time you’ll ever fly it.

ROSS  
I’m sorry. 

HE GOES OVER AND PUTS HIS ARM AROUND MONICA. 

JOEY  
Well if he can’t fly it...

HE TRAILS OFF ON MONICA’S LOOK AND TURNS TO CHANDLER.

JOEY  
(MOCK FRUSTRATION) Chandler, how could you suggest that? She said no flying.

CHANDLER BACKS UP SPUTTERING DEFENSIVELY.

ROSS  
Maybe I’ll give it to Ben. (OFF OF MONICA’S LOOK). You know, for when he’s older.

CHANDLER  
Oh I’m sure Carol and Susan will love that.

THE OTHERS LAUGH AND WE...  
DISSOLVE TO:

SCENE F  
EXT. STARBUCKS - NEXT MORNING (DAY 3)  
(BARISTA, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel)

RACHEL PRETENDS TO BE LOOKING AT HER PHONE WHILE WAITING TO PICK UP HER DRINK. SHE IS REALLY STEALING GLANCES AT THE BARISTA.

BARISTA  
Pink Drink for Rachel! 

RACHEL GOES OVER AND TAKES THE DRINK FROM HIM. 

BARISTA  
Enjoy!

RACHEL  
(WITH A FLUSTERED LAUGH) Thanks, you too!

THE BARISTA SMILES. RACHEL SMILES BACK SHEEPISHLY. SHE TURNS AND CRINGES AND COVERS HER FACE WITH HER HAND. MONICA AND PHOEBE ENTER WHICH STARTLES RACHEL.

MONICA  
(SMIRKING) So this is where you’ve been coming?

PHOEBE  
(SCOLDING) For shame, Rachel Karen Green!

RACHEL  
(SOUNDING GUILTY) Oooooh, I know, I know, I know...I should have told you, but I felt bad coming here instead of Central Perk...

MONICA AND PHOEBE ARE TOO BUSY STARING AT THE BARISTA TO LISTEN.

PHOEBE  
(SMILING AT THE BARISTA) Oooh yummy, I’ll have one of those.

RACHEL  
(SLAPPING PHOEBE’S ARM TO SHUSH HERE) Oh!

MONICA  
Well, I could use an iced coffee.

OVERLAPPING CHATTER AS THEY GO TO THE COUNTER TO ORDER, AND WE...  
DISSOLVE TO:

TAG  
SCENE X

SCREEN READS “10 YEARS LATER...”  
FADE IN:

INT. CAROL AND SUSAN’S BEDROOM - 10 YEARS LATER AT 2 AM (NIGHT 4)  
(Carol, Susan)

CAROL AND SUSAN ARE LYING IN AWAKE IN BED. THE ROOM IS DARK AND THE CLOCK ON THE NIGHTSTAND READS 2:00 AM. THE BUZZING OF THE DRONE CAN BE HEARD FROM THE OTHER ROOM

SUSAN  
(WITH EXASPERATED SIGH) Damn it, Ross! 

SUSAN ROLLS OVER AND COVERS HER HEAD WITH THE PILLOW. CAROL PATS HER ON THE BACK WITH A TIRED LOOK, WE...  
FADE OUT.  
END OF SHOW


End file.
